Tags
attachments, being hurt by a friend, caring too much, Days of Truth 30, getting easily attached to people, moving on from a loss, online friendships, resentments
hello blogland. aowyn here. 🙂
the first topic for the 30 days of truth is to share something you hate about yourself. i don’t like the word “hate” – i think there are better ways of saying something besides that we hate it – but i will go along with it for the sake of sharing.
i hate that i get attached to people so easily. then what happens is, when the person who I’ve become attached to decides they don’t want to pursue a friendship or relationship of some kind, i usually end up feeling quite hurt and in fact often devastated.
i recently got attached to someone. a friend, i thought. it was an online friendship, part of a group i was involved in. but something happened – i couldn’t say what – and this person pulled away and withdrew altogether. it was very painful because i didn’t have any idea what, if anything, i had done wrong. it was just suddenly they stopped contacting me. and it hurt tremendously. i realized that i probably had thought we were closer than we were. although then i wonder, if i can’t trust a connection i have with someone, what can i trust.
relationships are complicated to say the least aren’t they. i wish this person only the best. i am sad she is gone from my life, and it was extraordinarily painful when she withdrew from me completely, but sometimes you have to let people go and move on. feel the feelings – the anger, the sadness, the hurt – and then make a conscious decision to not carry resentments toward them moving forward. i may feel resentment, but i think as long as i try my best to not dwell on it and just keep moving forward, reminding myself that i deserve better, that i will come out of it a little better and a little stronger. at least i hope.
aowyn.